autocorrect needs to stop capitalizing “omg” I’m not that excited.
“Thank you for the tragedy, I need it for my art.”
- Period: You want cookies.
- Period: You want to fuck.
- Period: You want to fuck while eating cookies.
- Period: Let's be sad about trivial things, shall we?
- Period: Kill them.
- Period: Kill them too.
- Period: Kill them and eat their cookies.
- Period: Shhhh it's okay you'll feel better soon.
- Period: HAHAHAHAHA NO YOU WON'T FUCK YOU.
- Period: Whoops you dropped a spoon better cry.
Last year my chemistry teacher dropped something and yelled “zoo wee mama” and I laughed so hard I passed out and I woke up in the nurses office
The worst thing in life is when you step in water while wearing socks.
“Was blind? Ich bin geistig behindert vor Liebe.”
“Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just sucks.”